The 5 Biggest Sins People Commit In Nightclubs
"OH NO! She didn't do THAT!"
Clubs come in all shapes and sizes, with people of all types, dance abilities, and backgrounds. I've gone from small, initimate salsa clubs in Osaka to big raves on coastal Turkey. Having said that, clubs are places where people get together, and of course when that happens, crazy things can happen. Having seen it all, here are what I find to be the biggest sins in the club, committed by clubgoers, in no particular order.
1. Giant handbag pile in the middle of the dance floor (ladies).
Most women go to clubs with the bare minimum and fit their essentials into a clutch (small, handheld purse). The minimalists will carry cash and ID in their bra, and find some other place for their phones. I have to confess - I really like dancing with the minimalists - it's a lot of fun. They're not carrying anything, both hands are free, I can do all sorts of dance moves, and they turn with ease.
Sometimes, however, a group of women will enter a club, and they're carrying their daily handbags. They'll drop their handbags in the middle of the dance floor, blocking up lots of dance space, and asphyxiating the fun out of their dance circle. You can't cypher, have fun dance-offs, or socialize as well with the middle cut off like that!
The handbag pile usually happens in clubs that are near work districts or cater to older crowds. I'm sure most women have inadvertently committed this sin at point or another, so it's kind of an understandable situation. Maybe it was an impromptu club-hop after a restaurant gathering with friends, or it was a post-work drink that ran late when venue converted from restaurant/lounge to dance club. Also, it seems like the only solution where you can dance and not worry about bag theft.
However, there is a solution. If you really want to dance, if possible, take out the valuables from your bag, and check it in. I've been in similar situations where I've showed up to a club unplanned, and where I've had a backpack or bag on me. I can tell you that checking in my gear makes the night much, much better.
On the same token, similar sins include giant backpack piles for causal college-crowd bars, and winter jackets piled all over club couches in colder cities.
2. Smoking on the dance floor.
Although smoking is banned in many cities and clubs, you'll be surprised at how prevalent it is in other parts of the world. The specific problem is dancing with a lit cigarette. Not only are smokers risking burning other dancers, but then there's the issues of dropping ashes on people. Smoking in clubs really varies regionally though. For club-goers in places like Japan or Eastern Europe, most have never known what it's like to be in a smoke-free club and might find it VERY strange to be in a smoke-free club.
BUT, if you've ever danced in a smoke-free club, or if you're allergic to smoke, then it's a godsend. Dancing is a seriously aerobic activity, and it's much more fun dancing in the relatively fresh air. To top it off, not having to dry clean your clothes after, and leaving the club at night without the sticky combination of sweat and cigarette smoke all over you is really, really nice.
3. Dancing with a cup or glass.
Similar to, but not as sinful as smoking with a lit cigarette, dancing while holding a cup or glass is a club faux pas since it hampers your dancing while risking serious spillage. Not to mention, it's really difficult and makes your beer warm fast. Bottles are nice because they tend to spill less, but many clubs won't allow bottles for security reasons.
I get that many club-goers don't like leaving their drinks too far as over-zealous cleaning staff will take it away, that no one wants to drink away from their friends, and that no one wants to down an overpriced beer all at once, so I don't really have a solution other than to dance near a table where you can keep your drink nearby.
Maybe a serve cocktail drinks in ugly plastic bottles? :) Also, props to any clubs that serve bottles with koozies - handheld drinks warm up way too fast in hot nightclubs.
4. Really bad, drunk dancing.
Hey, I have no problems with beginners dancing - after all, that's what I teach, and you have to start somewhere. Being a beginner is not a sin because you're trying to improve yourself. However, bad drunk dancing is another incarnation. Bad drunk dancing has no self-awareness - it involves bumbling all over the floor, knocking people around, and interrupting fun dance battles. Check out this guy breaking a friendly cypher on my Instagram feed. Usually, guys are the worse offenders, since drunk women tend to collapse on people or overdo the mock bisexual dancing.
5. Passing Gas.
It's a packed club, someone has digestion problems, and it's a dark environment where it's impossible to be identified. Ladies are no exception to this rule, and for all I know, they could be the stinkiest culprits. The worst offenders continue ripping it out all night, to the horror of the packed crowd, with the heat and the humidity making the stench several times worse - UGH. Maybe the criminal does it for the thrill of seeing other people's reactions - kind of reminds me of the "logging" phenomena British tourists unleashed on Turkish resorts (don't ask). I know club washrooms can be pretty gross, but please, please, please clear your bowels there and DON'T FART ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Those are the worst club sins in my mind. If you know of any other faux-pas, please send me a note!