How To Get Into A Good Mood Or State In Clubs
Sometimes you go into a bar or a club for the sake of going out or because it's a Friday. But you're tired - from work, a workout, don't like the scene, or "you're just plain tired". The whole night falls apart, everyone seems to be having fun except for you, and you feel less inclined to go clubbing again.
Hey, I've been there. I once went on a three-year stint without clubbing because I was tired of the scene. It seemed to repeat itself night after night. Then I changed my state of mind (and outlook on life, for that matter), and everything changed.
Some people call a good mood state or being in the moment.
Being In The Moment
If you've never read any of Eckhart Tolle's work, I highly recommend you give it a try. Start with The Power of Now, and if you find his work interesting, next read the highly popular A New Earth followed by Stillness Speaks. He offers great exercises and tips on getting out of your head and enjoying every moment as it is. Especially in a night club, this means just having fun without concerning yourself about what others might think of you, whether it be approaching a girl or doing a ridiculous jig on the dance floor.
It's not just applicable to the dance floor, but pretty much every moment in your daily life.
I'll try to translate his work for a bar or club environment. Say you're standing on the sidelines, and you're not feeling like you're in the moment. First accept the feeling. Then observe it. Don't think about it - don't think about what you want to say to a girl or how much the club sucks.
It's like feeling sad, but consciously not thinking about why you're sad, but instead, just focusing on the feeling of being sad. Your mind loses its reason to be sad, and the sadness disappears.
Just look at the negative feeling like it's some kind of entity in you. It will go away, and you'll come out of it. Then, with a slight smile on your face, look around the club environment. All the tiny details - what people are wearing, the umbrella in a drink (which hopefully you aren't holding). But don't think about it or judge anything. Don't think about how skanky a girl is dressed, how uncomfortably loud the music is, how dirty the club is, etc. Just let everything be.
Without this judgement, everything just becomes "all good". This is being in the moment.
Below are some other tips which will help get you into the moment.
Appreciate Different Kinds of Music
Switch off the Top 40 stations on your daily commute or in the office. They repeat so much anyway, and often the songs have mind numbing lyrics played to the same 3 chords being repeated over and over again. Try non-Top-40 styles of music such as classical, jazz, Latin, or ska. If you have trouble jumping to those styles of music, there are styles of music a bit closer to Top 40 such as reggaeton, house, J-pop, or oldies. Of course, if you don't listen to certain more mainstream but less Top 40 club-played styles like reggae, house, or metal, give them a go too.
Make it a 30-day habit to replace half your daily listening with new styles of music. This will improve your music appreciation, open up your mind, and you'll have more to talk about with other people.
Some music series I recommend are Buddha Bar and Hotel Costes. They have international flavors to them which really broaden the styles of music represented in these collections.
When I got into salsa dancing, I really liked the moves, but really had problems getting used to salsa music - it all sounded the same! After a while, I started distinguishing the salsa club played styles (merengue, cha cha, salsa, bachata, reggaeton), and then learned the sub-styles of each music (romantic salsa, party salsa, etc.) Soon enough, I did have a number of favorite songs I could style my dancing to.
The other benefit of avoiding the Top 40 songs is so that when you do go to a club and hear a great Top 40 song, it will only be better because you haven't listened to it to exhaustion. And, when the music switches up or you're in a different venue, you're that much more flexible to the music and less prone to lose the moment.
Play Games With Your Friends
If you're out with your friends, you can use each other to bring up the group spirit. The only rule is that everyone has to participate. If some of you are having a cheesy dance move competition in the middle of the dance floor
Team Chants. Traditionally speaking, groups of guys excel in raising spirits. Think of team sports. Do a team chant, a dance, bump chests, whatever. One of my buddies gets us into great moods by linking arms and getting us to jump around.
Improv comedy. No, I'm not talking about performing a "Who's Line Is It Anyway?" skit, but there are a ton of mini-games to get you thinking fast and having fun. I'll write a full article on my favorite improv comedy games.
Impromptu Speaking. I gleaned this off of Toastmasters. One person gives someone a crazy topic or a role and the other has to talk about it for a minute. This is really useful for getting you to think fast and make conversations with new people. For extra fun, make topics related and rift off previous "speeches". For example, "You're Superman, and you've just spotted Batman hitting on Wonder Woman. How are you going to tell him off?" "You're Batman and you have the hots for Superman, but he just told you off for chatting with Wonder Woman. What's on your mind?"
Word Games. Similar to the previous two topics, this will get you thinking fast. This one's a bit easier though it may not be as funny. For example, someone says a sentence, the last person has to begin the next sentence with the last letter of the previous speaker's sentence, hopefully relating the two.
If you're out with girls, then dance with the moves I teach you! Dance with everyone in the group to get everyone in good spirits. Anyone left out will only want to leave early or bring down the energy of the group.
Finally, avoid drinking games if you're planning on dancing.
Move To The Music
That's what the music is for! It gets people into a good mood. Whether or not the music is your favorite style, just start swaying to it. Start with a basic two-step and throw in whatever you feel like. This is much better than standing around and hating the scene. If you just don't feel like dancing, then at least make conversations with new people standing around.